Ask Venus questions about love, relationship and dating
.....time passes....Why wait and postpone your happiness? Ask and I shall answer...and other readers can give you some insights, something you did not see.
What is your question?
posted by VenusSpeaks @ 5:52 AM
4 Comments:
i have this great best friend, we're really great together. I guess what he's going to say and vice versa, we really get along wonderfully.
But there's a catch! I like him.I mean, i really really love him like i've never loved anyone else.
He's that king of guy who only has something with girls if he's 100% sure they're into him. Usually girls end up making the first move with him. He's very calm, rational and play it safe.
I know he thinks about other girls, he told me recently (to my displeasure!), but still, i have hope he will one day look at me and realise im the one for him.
What do you think i should do? should i give up? should i wait for him to do something? should i do something? I really apreciate any advice i can get!
Thank you,
rit.
Hi rit... It is wonderful that you feel the love. Real love = joy, so please enjoy loving and knowing each other. You need to love and protect yourself too. As I said in World Famine of Love attachment-love (which creates expectations) can detract from your joy. Yes, I think you need to do 4 things: 1) expand your socialising to connect to other friends too, expand your heart to more people. 2) allow him and everyone else their freedom, to do, to feel, rightly or wrongly, what they choose. It is their life. Love cannot be by obligation. A man (and a woman) needs to keep opposite-sex interest up naturally, but whether they go beyond interest is a matter of mutual agreement and health concern. 3) Keep yourself nice -for you, not for him. Be the person you want to be. And 4) Enjoy you love, enjoy your life to the fullest, ride all highs and lows taking everything in your stride.
Please write to me again how things go, we won't talk about giving up such a great friend at this stage, until we have talked some more.
VenusSpeaks
9-Jun-06
http://askvenus.blogspot.com
Hey Venus! I love your blog! I am anonymous from your blog:women like nice guys...you really did help me a lot...just one question,though.Did you ever feel that women are sometimes overpowered or intimidated by nice guys?I have noticed that sometimes I get the "tale between the legs" approach...They even see me as "untouchable",and like a big brother sometimes...but what do you think?
Hi Anonymous, Thanks for question -that's great. And sorry I was not monitoring the site lately. I think that probably many if not most nice women do appreciate it; very few women might feel along the line of what you said: intimidated and overpowered by nice guys BUT... I think more so only when you act like a supervising parent to them (you know what that feels like :-)). Best I reckon is to:
1) keep your gentlemanly caring, courteous acts to that level of friends, not the level of parent or supervisor. Do not keep contradicting, correcting, advising, etc.
2) show your interest as a man to a nice woman ie look at her, talk, listen, compliment (if genuine).
3) not generalise. Some women are nice, some are not. Stick with nice ones! Some nice ones sometimes act strange only because they're nervous (I was), forgive them.
Hope that helps somewhat. Good luck.
Venus Speaks
Post a Comment
<< Home